Are these terms you would usually associate with breasts? When I think of breasts I think of many words but those are not them. Breasts are soft, squishy, round, pointy, perky, plump, enticing, sexy, comforting, nurturing, useful (hello, breastfeeding!) but not to Facebook. This morning Facebook told me that my fan page dedicated to sharing information about a) my long term photographic project Show Us Ya Tits and b) about breasts, was those things. And I quote; “Among other things, pages that are hateful, threatening or obscene are not allowed”.
When they first took down my images from the fan page I thought it was a shame Facebook was buying into that boring rhetoric that any body that falls outside the accepted norm of youth and sexuality is not to be showed. The week progressed and my little status update spawned some sort of viral infamy, I had over 4,000 people log on a read my previous blog. I did interviews with three radio stations, and two newspapers, who between them managed to get me syndicated all over the world – the original ABC article was even translated into Indonesian. Over 200 new people joined my fan page. So yes, the people seemed to agree, Facebook was being hypocritical.
As the week progressed Facebook continued to take down my images, and whether it was because I kicked up a stink or not I was quite pleased that at least they were being evenhanded with their no nudity policy; taking down the sexy Sexpo Showgirls as well as my nan. I posted an image of Bebe (see below) as my profile because her nipples were covered and I thought that would fall in line with their no nudity policy, which incidentally I never set out to challenge. I actually think it is dangerous territory for them to have anything but a no nudity policy, because where do you draw the line? All I was arguing for was that they apply that policy fairly, and not remove an image of breastfeeding and leave one of sexy breasts.
But this morning Facebook has taken down my whole page because the content was hateful, threatening or obscene. Since when were breasts any of those things? What kind of message are we sending to girls when we decree that breasts are obscene? Or when we tell them that their bodies are hateful? Or that sharing information about normal, natural bodily functions is threatening? What we are telling young women who are developing, and women who have troubled relationships with their bodies is that they are not okay if they don’t fall in line with the images media feeds us on a daily basis. We are telling women, and for that matter men, that bodies have to be standardized to be accepted. What we are failing to tell when we censor diversity is that bodies come in the most delightful rainbow of shapes, sizes and colours. And more simply, what we are failing to do when we decree bodies obscene is that we are all different. Each and every one of us is different and that is a good thing.
I’m going to put myself on the line here and tell my story. Ironically given how much time I have invested into researching other people’s breasts over the last five years I have never told it to anyone. I still feel a bit saddened by it I guess, but anyway here goes; I developed early, BAM, breasts appeared on my chest overnight. It was a shock not only to me, my peers but also to my parents. Because, like it or not, when an 11-year-old has breasts all of a sudden, you have a child on your hands who is instantly sexualised. Scary.
To be honest it took me a while to realise my classmates weren’t going to catch up on my early development, that I hadn’t just grown them earlier than anyone else. It took me a while to realise that I was going to end up with bigger breasts than everyone else. And the way I realised? Well that’s the sad bit I guess. I realised when I went to the school toilets one day and someone had drawn some graffiti on the wall. I sat there as I did my wee and read it. There were two silhouettes drawn next to each other, side views of a girls body. One was fairly average, and the other had huge breasts. One had an arrow pointing to it and said ‘Normal’ and the other had an arrow pointing to it that said ‘Gemma’.
I was a fairly naive kid. I read it and it took a few moments to realise that the ‘Gemma’ was me. The hot flush of embarrassment covered my cheeks and I felt sick. It was mortifying. In an instant someone told me that I wasn’t normal at an age where all you want is to be the same as everyone else. Unfortunately it was something I believed for a very long time. Because that’s the thing; When we as a community tell someone that differences are not normal, are not okay, we are dictating how they feel about themselves and that is massive power to wield.
So I ended up with huge breasts, I’m a 12F, and for all of my high school life, and a good chunk of time after then I felt ashamed of them, and intimidated by them. Although I have strong muscly body and great coordination I never played sport because I didn’t want people looking at me. I spent a lot of time looking at the ground so I wouldn’t see people looking at my breasts, because I was just a kid and the sexuality that is bundled up with breasts was far to overwhelming for me to deal with. I grew pretty cynical of any male attention because of my ‘abnormally’ large breasts, believing that the gimmick value was the only thing attracting them.
My breasts, and that one little picture some silly kid drew on the toilet wall 17 years ago (yes 17 and I still remember it clearly), have shaped my experiences and identity for a very long time. I am fully aware of the power of media to manipulate and that is why I started photographing this project. Because if I have the power to stop one little girl from feeling as shit about her body as I did then I will. If I have the power to show women and men of all ages that bodies are amazing because of their vast differences then I will. What I will not do is let fucking Facebook tell me that having open dialogue about breasts is hateful, threatening or obscene. That is not only abhorrent but given how large an audience it reaches, really dangerous.
Brilliant. Couldn’t have said it better myself.
Thank you for sharing; I love what you’re doing!
Please take whatever you wish in this story to the sources you contacted before. Facebook’s attitude towards your page needs to be widely known. Very widely.
Every cell in my feminist body hurts, just hurts. It’s 2010. How and why is our world still so hateful towards women? We are better than this – Facebook cannot, will not speak for the masses in this way. Thank you for sharing your story. I just posted tonight about Facebook’s hand in all of this – they may not be the only guilty party, but change has to start somewhere. We need to change this.
Gemma, this is ridiculous! I don’t understand why the Facebots are being so hateful. Your work is so important to our mothers, sisters, daughters, granddaughters, nieces… Please, let this only be a fire within you to continue! We will support you!
Thank you for your words! I was in tears while reading your story. You are such an inspiration to young girls and women alike! I love your photography! You have the ability to capture an amazing story in each and every photo I have had the pleasure of viewing. {{hug}} THANK YOU!
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In a world where there is chaos, destruction, famine, war, misogyny, racism, able-ism, sadness and anger…why is breastfeeding considered an obscenity? Why are women’s breasts considered threatening?
Please continue this good work that you are doing…if I am ever blessed with children, I want them to live in a society where the holy communion of woman-feeding-child is respected and where individuals of all genders love and respect their own bodies, and the bodies of others.
This humble doula thanks you.
Beth
P.S. That picture is incredibly lovely and filled my heart with such peace and joy.
I love you and I feel teary reading this, plus I can’t beleive how chubby Charlie was! Fat pants! You continue to amaze me with your fabulousness.
Thank you for every word. Thank you.
I came across this page while perusing my FB newsfeed, so I clicked on the link, and am I ever glad I did!! You can rest assured that this link will be on my page for some time to come…and I have over 3,000 people on my friends list, most of whom love my big breasts!
Your story from when you were young and the drawing you saw brought a tear to my eye, because I too developed very early, and still have big boobs. I am only 5ft2, and am a little larger in the bra department than you *blush*
Your images are incredibly beautiful, and show the wonders of the female form at all stages of our lives. I wish you lots of love and support (pun totally intended LOL).
Jenn
I actually think the real issue here — from the perspective of Facebook — is that breastfeeding images threaten to take women’s breasts and place them outside of the pornographic role in which they are being used throughout our society (i.e., for men’s sexual pleasure).
Breastfeeding images threaten to EMPOWER WOMEN with respect to the ESSENCE OF THEIR SEXUAL BEAUTY — which has zippo to do with getting men erect, and everything to do with conceiving, gestating, birthing, and nurturing the next generation.
The real issue here is women fully reclaiming the fullness of THEIR sexuality — of women owning every aspect of their sexuality, and in this case, it having NOT A FUCKING THING TO DO WITH TRYING TO GET A RISE OUT OF MEN.
In our completely twisted, hyper-sexualized, lust-filled, pornographic society, LOVE is perceived as obscene.
Just makes me want to punch someone in the face.
Seriously.
Gemma, as I understand the plight, I must say I don’t understand the bewilderment. Really. You ask “But this morning Facebook has taken down my whole page because the content was hateful, threatening or obscene. Since when were breasts any of those things? ”
I think there is a very important point that is being missed. I think this has very little to do with breasts as they are. I think the female breast is only a symbol of an incredible power that we have. If the power would be realized by the public in large we would have a revolution of mega proportion. Breasts are a fertility symbol. As many midwives will tell you breasts are not only to feed a child, but also to keep away fertility, to maintain bone health, and so on. But interestingly enough they play a part in childbirth. Women who have been practicing midwifery in the past twenty years will tell you that women who have had breast reductions or a mastectomy have troubles establishing labour.
Anyway, breasts are a symbol that we can bear publicly of our stand in a society. We are the life bearers, we are the nurturers, we are the educators of us all. We teach the first words, and the second and third ones too. We are there teaching our children life lessons and then tuck them in bed. We wipe the sweat off our children’s foreheads when they break fever, we blot their tears away when they skin their knees, we cradle them when they wake up from a bad dream, we prepare the medicine to make them strong to fight of illnesses.
They used to burn us at a stake. They had ways to tell us apart then too … the clothes we wore, the food we ate or grew, the medicines we made to help our loved ones ease their pain, the loving heart and steady hands we lent to families to birth their children, the heavy heart we carried around in our chests full of secrets we swore to protect when neighbours seeked our counsell.
Feminists, lactivists, midwives, medicine women, women, we are all witches too powerful to let roam freely. Only if you join their midsts one can escape the red-hot stool torture.
just wanted to let you know that even as a guy i noticed breasts at a young age and even when i was young i knew that they were beautiful and i saw the damage that people caused when they would poke fun and stare and belittle a girl if she grew breasts sooner or bigger then the rest of the girls. girls need to know that breasts are beautiful and there is nothing wrong with them. being a parent now and having 2 boys of my own it is my responsibility to teach my boys that breasts are not something to poke fun at or treat any different then anyone else breasts or no breasts…it all comes down to respect no matter who the person is or what the person has.
thank you for bringing this issue to everyone’s attention and i feel that facebook is in the wrong for deleting your work.
breasts (of all sizes) #1 fan.
Chad
I think society in general has a problem with making women especially feel ashamed and disgusted about their own bodies. I know, personally, that I feel a unrelenting dissatisfaction with my body. I’m nothing like the perfect images that Facebook or any other form of media doesn’t mind posting. Apparently, just because it’s pleasing to them, it’s alright to propagate and circulate those images….but when it comes to images of real bodies and real women it’s a disgusting thing that should not be tolerated. How sad it makes me feel to know that we’re destroying our self images. We’re making girls and women of every age feel like they’re horrible and obscene because they’re not the desirable image. It is a pain I, and many women, live with everyday. A feeling of inadequacy, of sadness and an inability to accept and rejoice in our differences. Someday I hope this will change and we are ‘allowed’ to feel beautiful as we should.
Thank you Gemma for highlighting this madness in our culture. How can we ever hope to have young mothers know that breastfeeding is normal and ensure our future as a species when people are so weird about breasts? Keep on with your amazing work. We need as much help as we can get so that we love our stunningly brilliant bodies
I would love your permission to re-post this on my blog with a linkback. I’m so utterly and completely disgusted with Facebook’s response to your work. Your pictures are astounding and say so much more than words ever could.
Also, I just wanted to tell you that as I read about your journey to woman-hood as a young girl, I could relate 98%. Nobody drew a picture of me on the wall of the toilet stall but I was teased mercilessly about stuffing my bra, having falsies, being a freak, all of that at the tender age of 11. It sucks. I grew to have huge ta-tas as well and it wasn’t until I nursed my first babe that I really grew to love them. Also, thank you SO much for posting that picture at the top. Despite running in birthing circles all over the nets, I’ve never seen such a captivating photo of a women with very large breasts nursing a baby (well, except for my own, lol). I especially love that second-nature gesture of absent-mindedly pulling the nipple up for the babe to latch on. It’s one of those things you do automatically that you rarely SEE. I’ve read countless articles and books on breastfeeding and seen hundreds of products meant to “help” but so often I find that even the advice handed out doesn’t apply to large-breasted women. I was actually told in the hospital with my first that I might smother my baby if I tried to nurse her!
The fight to suppress women by brainwashing them to hate their bodies is alive and well and rampant in every aspect of our culture, even in the progressive “health” movement. Thank you for you work, Mama, I’m a huge fan!
Brilliant work you are doing, for all women. I applaud you.
I had to start wearing a bra in the 3rd grade, and the girls mocked me worse than the boys. So I completely relate to your story. I want my daughters to know that their bodies, and eventual breasts, are beautiful – not something to be ashamed of. Kudos!
Not only are the beautiful bodies of women feeding their babies obscene to facebook, but transmen chests as well (even AFTER reconstructive surgery, if it doesn’t look ‘real’ enough for facebook anyways…)
Yet another event pushing me from the restrictive spaces of online ‘networking’ sites. What kind of ‘networking’ are we doing if we have to hide who we are in order to be a part of them, in order to be visible.
Down with facebook, up with bodies.
one love,
en
HATEFUL.
How baffling.
Never mind the Nazis, the Taliban, the American Tea Party movement, the Jacobites, Alan Jones et al…
Gemma T: You’re the hateful one.
I’m having slight conniptions here, it really is a bit hard to work out.
Happy to freely admit to the following though: I FUCKING HATE FACEBOOK.
Brilliant !!!. I am 60 yrs. old. My first daughter was born in 1971. When she was 3 mo. old, we moved to Victoria , Can. When she was born and I first put her to my breast at age 21, I knew that I had the right to feed her for her survival . I would sit out on Government St. and nurse her modestly . Not one other woman was there feeding thier child. At that time, , if you put your baby to the breast in a restaurant, you could be asked to leave OR go to the washroom and feed the baby. I became a radical “nurser” I was prepared to say, ” You don’t eat in a toilet, so why should my Daughter eat in a toilet.????”
I became acutely aware of society’s attitude towards the female breast and it’s primary function toward the survival of the human race. Thank you for bringing this subject to the fore . Warrior Word!!!
Oh and by the way, we must remember that Facebook is operated and run by a generation of people who may be detached from their natural instinct because of too much time spent in basements tied to a square illuminated box.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I was in tears too as I remembered what one boy wrote in my 6th grade year book, “Thank God for the Wonder Bra”. It took many years of pain and dealing with my sexuality to finally come to a place where I am happy and proud to be the size and shape that I am. Thank you Gemma!
At the end of the day it is their website and they can choose to have what they like on there, get over it. If you want to post pictures of breasts on the internet then start your own website, oh wait… you already did, sorted.
Wow, your childhood memories brought back flashes of embarassment, 10 years old with a 34A bra, menstruating, 5’3″, and the nickname “Tits”. I used to beat up boys at that age. In my case, the other girls caught up, but I remember also my bra being unfastened and the comments, and some of the rage coming from other females. Breastfeeding has taught me to be so in-tune with my body! Love your work and you struck such a chord.
Gemma, your anecdote about the drawing you saw in the loo while in school really drove home to me that women know how to be sexually cruel to each other. My wife has told me many times she would rather be naked around men than other women. Men are in awe of female nakedness. Women coolly and silently judge each either. And later makes wisecracks.
If a woman with a smirk on her face reveals some or all of what she carries under her bikini, in a nightclub, in a massage parlour, on the pages of a lad mag, or on a porn web site, the Powers that Be don’t care as long as she is past her 18th birthday.
But if she does so in a city park or pool, or on the town beach, or while hiking in a state or national park on a hot day, or were simply to walk topless on the sidewalk in her neighbourhood on a cheery summer day, the police will take complaints seriously and tell the woman to cover up or pay a fine. And FaceBook will kill your page.
As a culture, we are very very close to the point where it’s OK to exhibit certain regions of a woman’s body only if money changes hands, only if greases the wheels of commerce. Evidently, money purifies what would be otherwise prurient. What is evil and lewd, apparently, is women showing themselves for free with no hope of material gain for anyone. Has the law against indecent exposure become an accessory to the open sewer that is the sex industry? To the explosion of female insecurity about their sexual adequacy?
I began seeing breastfeeding in public and at family gatherings in the 1980s. I find it very weird that it remains controversial. If it bothers you, look away and think about something else. Has rampant internet porn resexualised the female breast?
Topfreedom will come within the lifetime of a lot of you reading this. I boldly propose that the law against indecent exposure be amended so that it no longer applies to women past some birthday. I suggest the 30th. Fully adult women cannot, and should not, be “forced” to be more prudish than they desire to be. By the end of this century, naked older women will be tolerated in most places where a bikini is appropriate nowadays.
Ladies, breastfeeding is sacred and glorious. Besides being wonderful for the wee ones, it is the legitimate exercise of womanpower. Just do it!
the Highschool toilet graffiti is a hard blow- I had a very similar story same age- at the toilet right next to the one where you found yours (the door marked ‘boys’ not ‘girls’). while there were many drawings of breasts in my toilet too, and many other body parts I’m sure Facebook would consider hateful, the bit that got me was not a drawing, just some words: “Luke Lickfold is a Cheesemeister”…… there it was, in black and white. All along I’d been waiting for everyone else to catch and be as cheesy as me, have just as goofy a grin and all the rest, but someone had, in no more than 5 words, clearly iterated that I was abnormally cheesy, and thats that. oh well… hopefully Facebook doesn’t decide that being a “Cheesemeister” is Obscene or Hateful… what would I do then? open a Google + account? oh the horror…. hey.. wait a minute… google instead of facebook? actually, sounds fantastic!!! Google + here I come! sayonara facebook you bunch of moneygrabbing fuck badgers!!! x x x x